There are times, when in need of divine inspiration, you take to flicking through cookbooks, and then you wish you hadn’t. Take ‘The Great Illustrated American Cookbook’ by a delightfully shy author who wouldn’t put their name to it.
A ‘big apple bagel burger’? Say what?
To be fair, which I suppose I must, this book did make its way to my grubby little paws missing several pages meaning someone may have ripped out all the recipes worth considering. They did at least leave the picture of the ‘rice and fruit ring’, which I am forever grateful for.
It’s yet another cookbook, from the 80’s unsurprisingly enough, filled with dry looking pictures that do little to inspire but! It does have a recipe for cooked carrots and grapes which I am considering force feeding the vegan next time she’s round.
The illustrations leave nothing to chance; the instruction to cover the pot is accompanied by a line drawn picture of a hand putting a lid on a pot. I would say this is good but, to be honest, i’m beginning to suspect this is just a ruse to avoid printed any recipes worth cooking.
It does have a valentine’s party menu for 12, which rather suggests the *ahem* shy author is into swinging, that has in the accompanying photo,.. ‘things’. They look like rolled up waffles or possibly bleached dried up poo. I can’t even work out what they supposed to be from the recipes.
At least I didn’t pay for it.
Oh, and the ‘Jolly Santa’s’ have to be seen to be believed.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Monday, 30 June 2008
Meals without meat..........yummy!
Another day, another chance for me to run as best i can in my unsuitable shoes from the local library squeaking 'Oh, you fools, i would have paid £1 for this book instead of the insanly low 25p you insist on charging me!' before doing a victory dance in the middle of the high street.
Yeh, new cookbooks do that to me, it's embarrassing and i am working on it- especially when the object of my slightly psychotic lust is 'Linda's Summer Kitchen' by Linda McCartney.
Published in 1997 it seems to have been created sometime round the mid eighties if the dry looking pictures, which all have vegetables in the background so you KNOW you're reading a vegetarian book, are all you have to go by (although you could make a kick ass collage from the pictures that are scattered amongst the recipes like so much vegetably fairydust)
The recipes work, i'll give them that but they're, well......bland and kinda old-fashioned but still better than the Linda McCartney roasted vegetable lasagne i brought that had ONE slice of pepper between the noodles! Not that i'm still bitter about that. In the slightest. AT ALL.
Plus a 'vegetarian mince and rice stirfry' is wrong, wrong, wrong, It's made in a wok for goodness sake! The potato and aubergine curry is delightful however, just leave out the 'steak chunks', they're not needed. And neither is the coriander but that's just bias speaking since no recipe needs the devil weed in it.
I cant help but think this book would be most useful if you fell through some sort of time hole and ended up in a vegetarian cafe in the late seventies trying to fend off hippies by offering to cook them 'country mushrooms' or 'rice and vegetable cheese bake'.
Heh, heh, I have just realised that despite not eating meat for 21 years, i still can't spell 'vegetarian', before i spell checked this i was apparently a 'vegataerien' a 'vigetron' and a 'vrgetaren'. Cool.
Yeh, new cookbooks do that to me, it's embarrassing and i am working on it- especially when the object of my slightly psychotic lust is 'Linda's Summer Kitchen' by Linda McCartney.
Published in 1997 it seems to have been created sometime round the mid eighties if the dry looking pictures, which all have vegetables in the background so you KNOW you're reading a vegetarian book, are all you have to go by (although you could make a kick ass collage from the pictures that are scattered amongst the recipes like so much vegetably fairydust)
The recipes work, i'll give them that but they're, well......bland and kinda old-fashioned but still better than the Linda McCartney roasted vegetable lasagne i brought that had ONE slice of pepper between the noodles! Not that i'm still bitter about that. In the slightest. AT ALL.
Plus a 'vegetarian mince and rice stirfry' is wrong, wrong, wrong, It's made in a wok for goodness sake! The potato and aubergine curry is delightful however, just leave out the 'steak chunks', they're not needed. And neither is the coriander but that's just bias speaking since no recipe needs the devil weed in it.
I cant help but think this book would be most useful if you fell through some sort of time hole and ended up in a vegetarian cafe in the late seventies trying to fend off hippies by offering to cook them 'country mushrooms' or 'rice and vegetable cheese bake'.
Heh, heh, I have just realised that despite not eating meat for 21 years, i still can't spell 'vegetarian', before i spell checked this i was apparently a 'vegataerien' a 'vigetron' and a 'vrgetaren'. Cool.
Friday, 30 May 2008
Mmmmm, seitan.....
Vegeance is a noun meaning 'an act of harming or punishing someone in return for what they have done to you', i'm assuming or rather hoping that 'Vegan with a vengeance' by Isa Chandra Moskowitz is refering to the second definition in my dictionary which is 'with great intensity'. And it is quite intense: mostly in a good drag you along with enthusiasm but it is described as 'quirky' on the back. I bet its also 'zany' and 'wacky'. Grrrr. The author is also defined as 'chatty' and if that was me and the best anyone could come up with, on the back of my cookbook, was 'chatty', i would be ever so slightly pissed off.
I picked this up for a very reasonable 50p from the local library thinking i could whip up a little something for the lovely vegan in my life, but...it's actually quite scary for someone unused to vegan ways, i mean seitan? nuttritional yeast? I can't even spell it so how am i supposed to find it?
The main issue i have with this book is the recipe titles are sideways. Sideways! Meaning you look a bit like a confused baby owl trying to veganise a vole. But other than that the cakes are damn good and it has a very helpful bit on replacing eggs in baking even if it does come over a bit Gillian Mckeith with it's flaxseeds, evil little beetle looking thingies that they are.
There are no pictures, which would be helpful if only so you could visualise what some of the recipes would look like, i know i've mentioned it before but seitan? What the hell is it? Bean Curd? A vegatable? Some sort of vegan egg? I'm not even going to Google it, i prefer to live with whats in my imagination.
Nevertheless having spoken to actual vegans and discovering they like this book, i remain bemused, if incredibly fond of the cakes.
I picked this up for a very reasonable 50p from the local library thinking i could whip up a little something for the lovely vegan in my life, but...it's actually quite scary for someone unused to vegan ways, i mean seitan? nuttritional yeast? I can't even spell it so how am i supposed to find it?
The main issue i have with this book is the recipe titles are sideways. Sideways! Meaning you look a bit like a confused baby owl trying to veganise a vole. But other than that the cakes are damn good and it has a very helpful bit on replacing eggs in baking even if it does come over a bit Gillian Mckeith with it's flaxseeds, evil little beetle looking thingies that they are.
There are no pictures, which would be helpful if only so you could visualise what some of the recipes would look like, i know i've mentioned it before but seitan? What the hell is it? Bean Curd? A vegatable? Some sort of vegan egg? I'm not even going to Google it, i prefer to live with whats in my imagination.
Nevertheless having spoken to actual vegans and discovering they like this book, i remain bemused, if incredibly fond of the cakes.
Wednesday, 23 April 2008
deliberate, cogitate and digest
Do cats get bored? It's hard to tell, mine has been tolerating me reading out recipes to her for an hour now and she still seems to be politely listening, i like to think that, if not, she's composing poetry in her head while nodding at me but, alas, she's probably not.
The reason i have been reading out loud to a small ball of ginger and white purr is because i have recently become fond of, if not totally infactuated, with 'The Best Of Masterchef Since 1990'.
A deceptively heavy hard back thats just the right size for thwacking someone round the head with, its filled with pithy words of wisdom from the judges and beautiful pictures that seem to come from a much older book, altogether too posed photos that look like still life tableaus rather than food that you would actually want to, you know, eat.
But saying that, it's not a book i will ever cook from given that i have never had the need to produce Masterchef worthy food. It's more a tome to keep in the kitchen and pull out whenever you have guests who might spitefully underestimate your cooking skills, oh, and i've just noted i already have all the ingredients needed to make 'Warm Salad of Wild Mushrooms with Deep Fried Polenta and Balsamic Dressing'. Which makes me feel pretty rad.
In fact, if i was feeling like a total bitch i would be tempted to give this book to a novice cook freshly moved into their own house with special reference to the 'Guinea fowl in Orange Sauce with Chesnuts'. I'd also rip out out the dessert section so they couldn't even console themselves with some 'Amaretti Chocolate Tortes', if only because i like making the transition from Pot Noodles to real foods as difficult as possible.
I declare this book to be fully worth the £3 i paid for it if only to read of Loyd Grossman calling a warm chicken liver salad "terribly butch".
The reason i have been reading out loud to a small ball of ginger and white purr is because i have recently become fond of, if not totally infactuated, with 'The Best Of Masterchef Since 1990'.
A deceptively heavy hard back thats just the right size for thwacking someone round the head with, its filled with pithy words of wisdom from the judges and beautiful pictures that seem to come from a much older book, altogether too posed photos that look like still life tableaus rather than food that you would actually want to, you know, eat.
But saying that, it's not a book i will ever cook from given that i have never had the need to produce Masterchef worthy food. It's more a tome to keep in the kitchen and pull out whenever you have guests who might spitefully underestimate your cooking skills, oh, and i've just noted i already have all the ingredients needed to make 'Warm Salad of Wild Mushrooms with Deep Fried Polenta and Balsamic Dressing'. Which makes me feel pretty rad.
In fact, if i was feeling like a total bitch i would be tempted to give this book to a novice cook freshly moved into their own house with special reference to the 'Guinea fowl in Orange Sauce with Chesnuts'. I'd also rip out out the dessert section so they couldn't even console themselves with some 'Amaretti Chocolate Tortes', if only because i like making the transition from Pot Noodles to real foods as difficult as possible.
I declare this book to be fully worth the £3 i paid for it if only to read of Loyd Grossman calling a warm chicken liver salad "terribly butch".
Monday, 7 April 2008
Brussel Sprouts and Grapes... Really?
As i have explained, i like reading cook books.
It rates, in the special scheme of Things I Like To Do, as high if not higher than teasing the cat, leaving work early and dancing in my underwear to songs with 'morrissey' in the title.
Particularly when i find a book like 'Cooking For Two' , a book so perfect that the author dares not put their name to it, lest other cookbook writers come and punch them in the boob.
A good solid example of a late 70's book, it provides page after page of shiny, vaguely alarming pictures of what could easily be cat sick but is in fact 'Jiffy Tuna Suprise'. It gives no explanation to the name of that one either leaving you to dwell on the fact that maybe the 70's were as 'far out' as your dad keeps telling you.
There's a recipe for jellied eggs! And an Essex Meat Pudding, which looks like a savoury Jam Suet pudding thing or something you may dream about when you have a high fever. I'm determined to cook it now actually-i just have to work up the courage and find someone odd enough to eat it.
The whole thing is splattered with stains and there's a question mark penciled in by the 'Liver Casserole' though we will never know if the person holding the pencil meant to try it or was just in awe of the very idea.
According to the reciept i paid £1.37 for this work of genius. An odd amount for a very odd book.
It rates, in the special scheme of Things I Like To Do, as high if not higher than teasing the cat, leaving work early and dancing in my underwear to songs with 'morrissey' in the title.
Particularly when i find a book like 'Cooking For Two' , a book so perfect that the author dares not put their name to it, lest other cookbook writers come and punch them in the boob.
A good solid example of a late 70's book, it provides page after page of shiny, vaguely alarming pictures of what could easily be cat sick but is in fact 'Jiffy Tuna Suprise'. It gives no explanation to the name of that one either leaving you to dwell on the fact that maybe the 70's were as 'far out' as your dad keeps telling you.
There's a recipe for jellied eggs! And an Essex Meat Pudding, which looks like a savoury Jam Suet pudding thing or something you may dream about when you have a high fever. I'm determined to cook it now actually-i just have to work up the courage and find someone odd enough to eat it.
The whole thing is splattered with stains and there's a question mark penciled in by the 'Liver Casserole' though we will never know if the person holding the pencil meant to try it or was just in awe of the very idea.
According to the reciept i paid £1.37 for this work of genius. An odd amount for a very odd book.
Monday, 24 March 2008
roly poly fish heads
Most of the time i try not to think of Semilong Road. The basement flat with the everlasting smell of damp where we first got burgled and i almost bled to death. Where we first learnt that toilet paper does not magically appear and that life without mum can be be pretty damn strange.
It's also where i first started to cook, skittishly at first. A salmon steak, purchased at Sainsbury's and stared at for hours before being 'pan fried' and eaten with iceberg lettuce. Mild food poisoning became frequent and completely indistinguishable from the near permanet hangovers that come part and parcel of being in your early 20's in a small town with nothing to do but drink yourself into having fun.
Then i received 'Rick Stein's Seafood'. A seemingly huge hardback, that lost its slip cover to grease early on, it's become a staple in my kitchen even if i rarely cook fish anymore. It maintains it's lure with beautiful pictures and clear instructions on how to do anything with fish, i read this book while cooking, i may now be waiting for the 'wakame and vegatable stew' to cook but i'm making a mental note on how to prepare elongated fish for griddling.
Some of the recipes (which start on page 98, before that you get techiniques for anything you can think of) seem over long, the list of ingredients particularly seem enough to send people running to the nearest chip shop but they shouldn't. It's all stuff you've heard of or can get easily.
This book has survived 2 household moves, and i know i'll still be letting pots of god only knows what boil over several moves from now due to re reading the instructions on how to skin freshwater eel for stir frying long after Semilong Road has become a faded black and white memory.
It's also where i first started to cook, skittishly at first. A salmon steak, purchased at Sainsbury's and stared at for hours before being 'pan fried' and eaten with iceberg lettuce. Mild food poisoning became frequent and completely indistinguishable from the near permanet hangovers that come part and parcel of being in your early 20's in a small town with nothing to do but drink yourself into having fun.
Then i received 'Rick Stein's Seafood'. A seemingly huge hardback, that lost its slip cover to grease early on, it's become a staple in my kitchen even if i rarely cook fish anymore. It maintains it's lure with beautiful pictures and clear instructions on how to do anything with fish, i read this book while cooking, i may now be waiting for the 'wakame and vegatable stew' to cook but i'm making a mental note on how to prepare elongated fish for griddling.
Some of the recipes (which start on page 98, before that you get techiniques for anything you can think of) seem over long, the list of ingredients particularly seem enough to send people running to the nearest chip shop but they shouldn't. It's all stuff you've heard of or can get easily.
This book has survived 2 household moves, and i know i'll still be letting pots of god only knows what boil over several moves from now due to re reading the instructions on how to skin freshwater eel for stir frying long after Semilong Road has become a faded black and white memory.
Food and medical examiners...?
I like to use food related analogies, i tell people i 'devour' books.
Especially books like 'Scarpetta's Winter Table' by Patricia Cornwell.
For those of you not up on your female medical examiner with a sidekick dectective, a neice in the F.B.I, and a lover who's sometimes dead, i recommend the Kay Scarpetta books, the earlier ones in particular.
But back to the cookbook, it's unusual in that it's written as a standalone story about the main charaters from the series revolving around christmas with recipes woven into the story in such a way, you barely even notice you've just accquired a recipe for Thousand Island Dressing or a stew. It just flows. It happens in the actual books she writes as well, its how i finally figured out to make lasagne.
My copy which cost me, or more honestly my dad, £1.55 came complete with food stains which for some reason are on pages with no recipes on them making me think that someone cooked 'Marino's last minute Chili' and then sat down with a steaming bowl and proceded to read the rest of the book.
It's more of a reference work than something you'll cook from again and again, you'll pick it up to read her description of stew as a living entity or to remind yourself on how to make a pizza base. Most of all, i think, you'll pick this book up just to re read the beautiful writing surrounding the idea of food, the emotions that cooking for those closest to you bring to the fore. It perfectly brings to life the concept of cooking as love.
Especially books like 'Scarpetta's Winter Table' by Patricia Cornwell.
For those of you not up on your female medical examiner with a sidekick dectective, a neice in the F.B.I, and a lover who's sometimes dead, i recommend the Kay Scarpetta books, the earlier ones in particular.
But back to the cookbook, it's unusual in that it's written as a standalone story about the main charaters from the series revolving around christmas with recipes woven into the story in such a way, you barely even notice you've just accquired a recipe for Thousand Island Dressing or a stew. It just flows. It happens in the actual books she writes as well, its how i finally figured out to make lasagne.
My copy which cost me, or more honestly my dad, £1.55 came complete with food stains which for some reason are on pages with no recipes on them making me think that someone cooked 'Marino's last minute Chili' and then sat down with a steaming bowl and proceded to read the rest of the book.
It's more of a reference work than something you'll cook from again and again, you'll pick it up to read her description of stew as a living entity or to remind yourself on how to make a pizza base. Most of all, i think, you'll pick this book up just to re read the beautiful writing surrounding the idea of food, the emotions that cooking for those closest to you bring to the fore. It perfectly brings to life the concept of cooking as love.
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